Being sober around drinkers can be challenging, especially when you are just beginning your alcohol-free journey. In this post, we will discuss how to tell your friends and family you won’t be drinking, how to avoid the temptations of alcohol, and how to foster a social environment that is aligned with your sobriety goals.
If you are transitioning to an alcohol-free lifestyle, going out sober for the first time may seem overwhelming. Think about it, you’ve most likely spent the majority of your adult social life under the influence of alcohol.
If I had to guess, I bet most of the holidays, parties, sports games, concerts, weddings, etc. included a drink, or two, or several. This was your norm.
It was mine too. Until I decided I no longer wanted to feel the negative effects of alcohol anymore. I couldn’t justify partaking in an activity that was not serving me mentally, physically, or spiritually.
When we decide to limit or stop our drinking, we are rewiring our brains to create new, better, and healthier habits. Things are going to start to look and feel different. Let them. It is part of the process.
This post is all about how to go out sober for the first time. Hopefully, after reading this post, you’ll feel empowered by your decision to live an alcohol-free lifestyle.
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What Does It Mean To Be Sober Curious?
The phrase “sober curious” is trending all over social media. The sober curious movement is all about exploring your relationship with alcohol.
The reason so many people are leaning into the sober curious movement is because it allows flexibility. Being sober curious does not mean you will never drink again. Rather, you are curious about sobriety for the time being. You are choosing to limit your alcohol consumption to better understand the impacts on your physical and mental health.
There is no “correct” way to be sober curious. It will look different for everyone. Here are some ways that people choose to explore the alcohol-free-ish lifestyle:
- Completing a Dry Challenge
- Limiting alcohol to major events only (weddings, birthdays, holidays, etc.)
- Limiting alcohol to one day per week/month/season
- Limiting the amount of alcohol consumed in one sitting
- Cutting out alcohol completely
I personally love this movement because it is inclusive of everyone’s sobriety journey. Each of us has our own relationship with alcohol that is impacted by unique factors such as family history, addictive tendencies, how often we drink, when we drink, and who we drink with.
The sober curious movement allows us to really identify why we want to drink, how drinking makes us feel physically, mentally, and emotionally, and if we want to keep alcohol in our life.
Related Post: 11 Life-Changing Reasons to Join the Sober Curious Movement in 2023
Are You Trying To Remain Sober Around Drinkers?
If you were a frequent drinker, then it may come as a shock to your friends and family when you tell them you are no longer drinking.
If you are anything like me, you may be nervous to have this conversation. I know when I first started my sober curious journey, I was apprehensive about how people would respond.
Will people think I have a drinking problem? Are people still going to want to hang out with me? Can I still have fun and enjoy myself when I go out? These were all real thoughts that were running through my mind.
Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of tips to guide people through this conversation.
Tips For Telling People You Aren’t Drinking
- Tell your friends and family ahead of time. If you have dinner plans, a party, or tickets to a show tell the people you will be going with that you do not plan to drink before the event arrives. This will give everyone the heads up and avoid any awkward conversations or peer pressure during your night out.
- If you are unsure how long you will be living an alcohol-free lifestyle, then use the phrase “I am not drinking for the time being”. It is clear and to the point. It lets people know that you are not drinking today, but in the future, you may indulge in an alcoholic beverage.
- Do not feel pressured to over-explain your decision to stay sober (unless you want to!) It truly is nobody else’s business what you consume into your own body. If you want to dive deeper into the reasons you are avoiding alcohol, then by all means feel free. However, if you don’t want to get into it for personal reasons then do not feel obligated to do so.
- Do not place judgment on others who choose to drink. When you first give up alcohol, it can feel euphoric. You will probably feel healthier, more focused, and have a better sense of confidence. These are good things that you most likely will want to share. Sharing your experience is great, judging others for not wanting to give up alcohol is not. Be careful with your words!
- Own your decision to stop drinking. Do not let anyone else’s opinion change your mind. You know why you are on this sober curious journey. It doesn’t matter if other people don’t understand it right now.
- If you are a woman, you may receive comments asking if you are pregnant. I know I did. Try not to take offense to this. People are most likely trying to make a joke to lighten the mood. Responding with a simple, “no” is just fine. Again, don’t feel the need to explain your decision unless you want to.
- Remember, if anyone is making fun of you or is not in support of your decision that says way more about them than you. This is your journey, not theirs.
How To Go Out Without Drinking Alcohol
Whether it is your first time going to a friend’s house, a baseball game, or a wedding without alcohol it is important to plan ahead. Heading into the event with a solid plan is the best way to set yourself up for success.
Make your decision to experience the event sober and then stick with it. Do not let outside influences change your mind. Trust me, I know this is easier said than done, but you can do it!
Decide what you will be drinking
Opt for a non-alcoholic beverage or create your own non-alcoholic version of your favorite cocktails.
The presence of mocktails is growing and many bars/restaurants are creating specialized menus to offer non-drinkers. Yay!
Decide who you will be spending your time with
One of the best things you can do is surround yourself with people that are going to support and encourage you to meet your goals. When you are newly sober, this is so important.
Going out sober for the first time can seem scary. It can feel lonely being one of the only people at an event that isn’t drinking. There are two ways to help this:
- Find a sober buddy. Ask one of your close friends or family members if they want to try sobriety with you. Sometimes having a partner is all you need to stay motivated.
- Lean on your loved ones for support. Even if your friends and family drink, that doesn’t mean they can’t support you. Let them know that this may be a challenging experience for you and that you may need a few extra words of encouragement to remain alcohol-free on your first sober outing.
Decide where you would like to socialize without alcohol
The first time you go out without drinking is a big deal. If you have been drinking at all the social events you attended for years, then it is going to feel different experiencing those same places sober.
Wherever you go, think of it as an opportunity to experience it with fresh and clear eyes. You may have a newfound appreciation for this place.
Or, you might realize that the bar you used to love spending time at just isn’t as fun without the alcohol. Trust me, this will most likely happen at some point and at some place in your sober journey. That is okay. You are growing. It is natural to outgrow places that no longer serve you.
Find places that you genuinely enjoy being at without the need for alcohol.
Related Post: How To Cut Back On Drinking
You Aren’t Drinking Alcohol. Now What?
If you were a social drinker, then you may be wondering how to socialize without alcohol. This is a common concern and one that stops a lot of people from taking the leap to sobriety.
However, what so many people don’t realize is that there is a whole world out there ready to be explored in ways that don’t require alcohol.
You will come to find that you have so much more time, energy, and confidence to try new things when you are not under the influence and hazy effects of alcohol.
Is there a hobby you’ve been wanting to get back into? A business idea you never seemed to have the time to pursue? An early morning fitness class you’ve been wanting to try? Fill your schedule with activities you love.
Staying busy is a great way to stay on track with your sobriety goals.
Remember, you are in control. You deserve to live a happy and healthy life. There are so many people rooting for you. You’ve got this!
This post was all about how to go out sober for the first time when you are beginning your sober curious journey.
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